LILLY SPEAKS OUT 2

"He was afraid of rejection and was also considering his finances. I  wasn't about all that, I was all about friendship."

"I had the faith for both of us, but he never asked. He felt I was from a privileged background, while he wasn't. Self-esteem wasn't right, yes?

I believe most marriages break up easily because there is no foundation, which is first Christ, then friendship.

We formed a friendship at an age that, most often, lasts a lifetime.

Imagining the kind of marriage we could have had based on that friendship we shared drives me crazy sometimes!

"How did you feel after he told you?" I asked.

"Pretty messed up. And seriously, if he had told me in person, I would have punched him in the face."

😂😄😅

"I know right"?

"I was his first love," she continues.

"So it was difficult for him to let go. He said he will always wonder at how foolish he was, keeping silent."

"That day at the Church nko? He didn't say anything?" I queried.

"Nope! He went home bruised. Didn't say a thing!"

"Hmmmmmm. Some daring people would end an engagement if the person speaks," I chip in.

Then she shocks me.

"I would have been one of them if only he'd spoken!"

😲😲

Jeez! She's always been bold But to end an engagement??? This babe is many shades of surprises.

"So, do you wonder at what could have been?"

"All the time, since he opened up." She interrupted, and I felt her pain.

"Any regrets? Your marriage especially?"

"Well do you want me to be open with you?" She asks me.

"Sure," I replied. "That's the reason for this discussion."

"Well, you see, he reached out at his lowest moment, filled with regret.

That was after his birthday when we got talking. I had often wondered about the state of his marriage, but that was when he opened up to me.

Let's not say regret.

He was hurting in his marriage, that was one reason he opened up and I wasn't at a better place either."

But are we fulfilled?

I'd say No.

We are Simply trusting God for better understanding with the people in our lives.

If you don't find fulfilment, the woman, for example, looks to her kids for consolation.

The marriage is then endured and not enjoyed.

And most times, it's because the man is not ready to give it his all. When a man gives his all, any woman would give him her world!"

"So I end my story." 😁.

Hmmmmmm! I sighed.

"By the way, we decided to reduce communication so we don't keep hurting each other." She adds.

"Okay. But you still haven't told me WHOOOOOO!" I pressed.

She finally mentions a name and my mind is blank. The name rings a bell, but the face? Nothing.

How's your health now? I remembered to ask. My brother didn't make it. He passed on years ago.

"I'm great. I'm good, really! A testimony!"

"Praise God!" I said.

"Living abroad helps a lot right?" I further asked.

"Yes. And medical assistance too. No mosquitoes also, which was a big problem then."

I'm really glad to know she's doing very well health-wise.

So we concluded...

"He even dated a lady in his school because she reminded him of me and had the same name as me.

But he still did not end up with her."

"Eyaaaa😢😢" my eyes filled up.

Story of my life.🤦🏻‍♀

"So how are you going to squeeze all this info into your blog?

It could also be one person's story or another person's lesson. Something for someone to learn." She thoughtfully added.

Personally, I think it's "Many people's stories."

*Lessons learnt:*

- "Girls should help them shy boys (if they cannot talk😁) to speak out on time and not be afraid." Says Lilly.

- "Worst-case scenario? A No!" Says Kim

Lilly replies "Abi na😂😁, and you can only hurt for a while but you will heal and be able to move on.

-However, the times are easier now. Better social media coverage has made communication easier.

So My take:

Think deep and wide!

Then Act!

But.. brace up for the inevitable; "the response".

It's better to speak out and know your fate than to keep quiet and live a life of regret, wondering what could or might have been.

The End!

PS. 

This is the story of my friend, Lilly (not her real name). It's a story that most people will relate to, the story of lost love, a story of years filled with questions that may never be answered.

Story As Told By LILLY and

Written by yours faithfully.

#If you have a story you'd like to share, reach out. 

Photo Credit: Google