Àsoebi

 

I picked the call, wondering who it was. She introduced herself and I had to rack my brain to remember who she was.

Some lady I met at an event several months before the call. We chatted and exchanged numbers. Well actually, she collected my number and then dialled it so I could save hers, but I never did since I had no intention of keeping in touch.

Do You think I'm terrible? 

We exchanged pleasantries on the call. While I was still wondering the reason for the call, she blurted out,

"I'm getting married!"

"Oh wow! Congratulations!"

"When is the wedding?" I asked, trying to be nice while still wondering her reason for calling me.

"Next month, actually. Three weeks from now."

"Oh, okay. I see. That's soon."

Then she responds, "Yes, that's why I'm calling. Akwai(there is) ÀsoEbi (fabric or material used by friends and family at occasions, for uniformity). It's usually distributed by the celebrant or close family members, at a price of course. It's never free. 

The price varies, depending on the family's social standing or class. Some are affordable to all while some are only affordable to a selected few. 

The price of àsoebi ranges between one thousand Naira (N1000, mostly caps for men) to a hundred and fifty thousand Naira (N150,000). I understand it could be higher in some places, but the highest I've seen is a hundred and fifty thousand Naira (N150,0000).

I kid you not!

Newlyweds used to get loads and loads of gifts at their wedding before the advent of àsoebi. It would take several trips with several cars to clear the number of gifts received. A deliberate effort was made in getting such gifts.  Nowadays, only a few people still make an effort to get gifts for newlyweds. 

The reason is not far fetched.

Àsoebi!

I have bought àsoebi in this life! One day, I realised I didn't have to, especially when it is not convenient.Who am I trying to impress? I have bought àsoebi at very costly rates that I never wore after sewing. Some I wear once and after the wedding, It is condemned. In fact, some get condemned even before the wedding, but I find them manageable, so I manage to use them for the wedding before dropping them.

Reason? Hmmm!Will talk about that someday soon.

There are some that "tailors" helped me condemn😂😁.

Tailors!

Hmmmmm...

Like I said, gist for another day.

My mother got tired of me not wearing àsoebi,  thinking it was always a deliberate effort not to wear the clothes (knowing how much I hated Ànko, another name for àsoebi). She used to insist I identify with family and friends, and would even offer to buy for me just so I don't look different from the rest of my "Èbi" (peers). She got tired and stopped buying.😀

She believed in identifying and celebrating with those celebrating. I, on the other hand, couldn't be bothered about identifying. Why can't I wear something different? 

"They are family so you have to," she'd say. Always willing to pay for it if I complained of cash.

But TAILORS!

 I had a problem with them for a long time till I found a few that blew my mind, who could actually sew well. I would feel so comfortable in the clothes, especially when they fit like I was born in them.

I had to start buying by myself at some point because Mummy was tired of wasting her money on fabrics I never got to wear. 😅😀

Unfortunately for this bride, I'm done with àsoebi!

Besides, the notice was too short. But, I still reasoned, for her effort in reaching out to me, I would make an effort if her price was reasonable. 

So I asked, "Èlo ni (how much)?" 

Seventy thousand naira  (N70,000).

"Say what?"😯😯😯 I exclaimed!

Hian! She don spoil show for herself.

"You can take half for N35k, that's two and a half yards of fabric. It's lace, so you can combine it with a plain fabric..." she rattled on when I didn't say anything after exclaiming.

Jesù Christì! 

Me! Àsoebi! Seventy thousand Naira!

Allah ya kiyàye (God forbid)!

Why in God's name would I buy two and a half yards of lace only to get another fabric that would match it before sewing? I never reason the price of sewing seff. 

"Haba mana! Is she high on something?" I wondered.

So I just told her, Ho ha (bluntly)! "I'm sorry, I can't afford that."

"You can pay later...."

"Mba (no), no credit for me. If I can't pay for it immediately, I won't take it". I added, still trying to be nice.

I didn't have to let her in on my resolve on not doing àsoebi anymore.

When she kept insisting, I said to her, 

"Let me think about it and get back to you," bid her farewell and hung up.

Haba mana! When I'm not the bride! Even if I had that money, wallahi I won't buy the àsoebi!

Ìsi gini? Kilode? Menene?

(What is it)???

Àsoebi is now a matter of priority for me.

There are people I can't say no to, and they are very few.No more going out of my way and having sleepless nights for a fabric I may or may not even use. No reason, whatsoever! 

I learnt the hard way that "What you sow is not always what you reap," where àsoebi is concerned.

Don't let people pressurise you into debt. They won't be there when you start having sleepless nights, or when the calls start coming in. 

There is nothing as disturbing as a call from someone you owe, even if that's not the reason for their call. Well, except you don chop òdeshi for that department (fortified in that in that regard)!

So, reject the pressure!

Who even invented àsoebi seff? Before àsoebi, people dressed beautifully at weddings and other ceremonies.

So, what changed?

Is it possible to do away with it?

Did you say yes or no? Wishful thinking, right?🤪🤪🤪

I know...